Ten things confident people never do

 Her heart was pounding. A dozen pairs of eyes were staring her way. The only thing between her and complete nakedness was a thin robe. And she was about to drop the robe, step up on a platform, and stand before all of these people without a stitch of clothing. The instructor looked at her, letting her know the time had come. She took a deep breath and let the robe fall to the floor. She’d never felt so exposed, so vulnerable. After a few minutes of staring over the heads of everyone in the room, she dared to look at a few faces. They were intently focused on sketching her, their faces composed in intense concentration. They weren’t judging her. They were viewing her body as something beautiful, something to be rendered on paper with emotion and grace. She was art. She began to relax. Over the next hour, she not only felt confident standing naked before these artists — she felt empowered. Not so much because she was showing off her body, but because she dared to do something she feared so deeply. If she could do this, she could do anything. Imagine that feeling — having the self-confidence to fearlessly do anything you set your mind to. Imagine being able to drop your metaphorical robe and master the thing that scares you. Most confident people weren’t born that way. Like everyone, they’ve had their share of fears and insecurities. But confident people haven’t allowed those fears and insecurities to control their destinies. They’ve learned to be proactive in changing the thoughts, behaviors, and decisions that keep them stuck in a compromised and contained life. - 

 Here are ten things confident people never do:

1. Confident people don’t lie to themselves. They don’t believe the negative thoughts like, “I’m too old,” or “I’m not smart enough,” or “I’m not attractive enough.” They don’t hide behind denial or limiting beliefs so they have an excuse to remain stuck in the status quo. They are real with themselves, even when the truth seems daunting.   

2. Avoid speaking up.  They have ideas and beliefs and can freely share them in personal and business settings. They have personal boundaries and can kindly communicate them to people who try to step past those boundaries. They don’t clam up for fear of saying the wrong thing, stepping on toes, or looking foolish. They’ve learned how to communicate with confidence in an emotionally mature way. 

3. Let failure hold them back Confident people understand failure is necessary for success. They know failure holds many lessons that can be used for the next attempt. Of course they feel the sting of failure and must take time to grieve it, but they are able to move past it and try again — as many times as necessary. Failure isn’t an excuse to quit. 

4. Please others to win approval They don’t compromise their own desires, goals, or needs in order to make others like them or approve of them. They don’t succumb to the “need to please.” They can tolerate the discomfort of disappointing others or not fitting in when it’s in their own best interest or allows them to be authentic. 

5. Over-focus on appearance. When you’re self-confident, you have a healthy relationship with your appearance. You improve the things you can, put your best foot forward, and strive to be healthy and well-groomed. And then you accept yourself as you are. You understand appearance does not define you or reflect your ability to be successful. Confident people have enough self-respect to stay fit and eat healthy foods because they know their bodies deserve to be cared for properly. - 

6. Have poor body language.They don’t avoid eye contact. They don’t keep their arms crossed or heads down. They don’t forget to smile frequently or offer a firm handshake. They’ve learned that even when they aren’t feeling confident, their body language can help turn that around. They know by practicing confident body language, they are sending positive messages to their brains to reinforce the feelings confidence. And other people will view them as confident, which further empowers them.

7. Put others down to feel good. They don’t need to undermine other people or make negative comments about their success or wealth in order to build themselves up. They are genuinely happy for the successes of others and allow themselves to feel inspired by those successes. They don’t assume successful people have something special others don’t have. They look to other happy, successful people for ideas and motivation to create this same success occur in their lives. 

8. Try to hide their mistakes. People with self-confidence know that mistakes are inevitable, and they are quick to own up to them. They apologize when necessary and do what needs to be done to fix the situation. They don’t cast blame elsewhere or try to pretend the mistake wasn’t really a mistake. They take full responsibility for their actions and decisions. 

9. Settle for mediocre. Self-assured people have a vision for what they want, and they go for it. They don’t hold back and allow their fears to keep them from trying. They push themselves to go above and beyond. They set the bar high for themselves and demand excellence. They know they are as deserving of the best in work and life as anyone else. 

10. Avoid connecting with others. Staying isolated and disconnected is a sign of low self-confidence. You don’t want to put yourself out there in front of others because you don’t want them to see you fail, look foolish, or pass judgement on you. With self-confidence, you don’t avoid connecting with others. You seek it out. You see the value in having a community of people with whom you share ideas, friendships, partnerships, and inspiration. You reach out and intentionally make these connections.

One of the best books I read about building your coinfidence is   by Sam Horb
What's Holding You Back?: 30 Days to Having the Courage and Confidence to Do What You Want, Meet Whom You Want, and Go Where You Want
 Its one of the best book on building self confidence. I highly recommend it.

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