Never ever Give up. -The deadly Secret of Diana.

The way up and the way down are one and the same.” – T. S. Eliot

The Call

Two weeks, or was it a month ago, on a calm Tuesday afternoon, I noticed in myself a distinct sign of discontent. This was surprising because I seemed to be on top of my affairs. So I stopped what I was doing and searched my consciousness. I slowly began to realize the source of the problem: I was feeling complacent. All those big dreams I had last year? I had unwittingly stifled them in the face of difficulties and obstacles, and resigned myself to accept something less.

In the midst of my introspection, I got a phone call from my dear friend Diana Katusiime, another Ugandan international student. Diana is probably the most enthusiastic person I know, but I could guess from her tone that she was enthusiastic about something in particular today. Well, I was right. Diana had just gotten an $11,000 sponsorship to start her second year at the university. Wow, how did that happen?

“Let me tell you,” she replied. “God is good.”

As if contagious, I caught her enthusiasm. As our energies gradually aligned, Diana began to tell a story that inspired me, and eventually led me to the solution for my own dilemma. I tell it to you in the hopes that you will be similarly inspired.

A Heart of a Doctor

‎”If you’re committed, you’ll do what it takes.”

In the first quarter of 2006, back home in Uganda, Diana was waiting to receive her medical school admission results. She had to be a doctor, it wasn’t just her dream; it was a dream that belonged to her family, friends and everything she holds dear.

The admissions results get posted in the national newspaper, so she woke up early, nervous, yet hopeful enough to go out looking for the paper. She opened the paper and flipped to the results….disappointment. Her name was not listed.

She was sad, Diana told me, but determined to try again. She would spend the next four years preparing to apply again – studying and getting experience in the field. Surely that would put her in a good position to re-apply in 2010.

After three years studying in a clinical medicine course, Diana got her internship at a hospital in Fort Portal, a remote town in western Uganda near the Rwenzori Mountains, about 200 miles from her home in Kampala.

It turned out to be the perfect place to hone her medical skills. The patient to doctor ratio there was overwhelming, and sometimes there were no doctors available at all. It meant Diana was often working hands-on diagnosing and treating patients.

“We had no oncologists, so I taught myself how to administer chemotherapy to my patients,” she told me. “Despite their suffering, my patients were full with hope and expecting good things to happen. How could I give up? They inspired me to keep going.”

By the end of the experience, Diana felt fully ready to apply to medical school again. She had improved so much that she could hold her own among many of the doctors.

“I did not need a lumbar puncture to know it was meningitis. Our bodies react differently to different diseases, but I understood meningitis and its disguises.” She said. “If something didn’t work, I’d go back to the drawing board, hit the books and try everything medically possible.”

The Return To Med School, Interrupted.

“Good things come to those who hustle while they wait.”

So, in 2010, four years after her first attempt, Diana applied to the same medical school as before. She had confidence, experience and credibility from her four years of hard work; surely this was it.

Once again she got up early. Once again she went out to grab the newspaper, anxious but excited to learn the results of her hard work. She shouldn’t be nervous. She wanted this. Today she would reach the goal she’d been working towards for four long years.

Her application was rejected. For the second time. Diana was devastated, and she told me that this time she thought it was time to give up.

“I had never been that disappointed, ever. I didn’t understand why. I thought it was the system,” she said.

I didn’t know this at the time, but she told me that my dad (her mentor) helped her move on from her disappointment, saying, “You don’t have to be a doctor to be successful in medicine. All you have to do is be the best at your craft.” She took his words to heart and resolved that, though she might never be a doctor, she would go back to work and be the best at her craft.

Somewhere in Michigan, but First…

“Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.”

But meanwhile, Diana’s hard work at the hospital had caught the attention of three medical interns from the University of Michigan. Impressed by her enthusiasm, knowledge and ability to innovate in the face of obstacles, they persuaded her to apply for medical school at the University of Michigan.

This time, she was accepted.

It was not long until Diana’s story spread around her circles. Inspired by her journey, the family and distant relatives, friends and friends of friends, well wishers and acquaintances (some American) all came together to raise finances for her tuition and plane ticket.

I was one of those inspired by her journey. Hearing her story led me to reflect on my own life. I realized that I have been holding on to so much and in effect it was holding me back. I wasn’t moving forward. Diana inspired me to say two things that I needed to hear myself say:

Dear past… thanks for all the lessons! Dear future… I’m ready! I’m ready to fight for my dreams, because when you fight for your dreams, your dreams will fight for you.

Today, at the Prevention Research Center of Michigan, Diana confronts unique challenges with the same brilliance and creativity, only smarter, sharper and more determined than before to achieve her dream. I asked her, as our phone call came to an end, “How you feel about the way things turned out?”

“Much better than I ever dreamed of!”

Source: http://blogs.voanews.com/student-union/2011/11/09/dont-curb-your-enthusiasm-the-story-that-inspired-me-to-move-forward/

Shyness - Tips to Overcome Shyness

Shyness, (sometimes inaccurately called 'social phobia'), affects most people at some time in their life. Young people in particular find overcoming shyness difficult as they improve their social skills. And for some, shyness seems to persist into adult life, almost as if it has become a 'habit'.
Shyness has its roots in self consciousness and usually dissipates as people mature and become more experienced. However, for some it can 'stick', and then action is required.
Although most people think in terms of 'overcoming shyness', it is more likely that you will become comfortable in social situations by learning the strategies of self confidence along with social skills. Then, shyness is no longer the issue, as social nerves will melt away as a new 'habit' takes their place.

Tips for Overcoming Shyness

Check out the tips in the article on self consciousness, particularly the ones to do with where you focus your attention.

•   Practice becoming fascinated by other people. Ask them about themselves, and concentrate when they answer you. Remember what they tell you about themselves so you can talk about it later, or on another occasion.


• Great socialisers make other people feel comfortable and interesting. How do they do that? By being really, genuinely interested in other people. If you are talking to someone and you feel boring or inferior, ask why that is. Is it really all your fault?


• Practise using fewer 'personal pronouns' when you talk about things. Sentences beginning with 'I' are not only a turn-off for the listener, they also keep the focus of attention on you, which increases shyness. (Note: Of course, part of friendship is giving away things about yourself, but only when you feel it is appropriate to do so.)


• Remember that the way to overcome shyness is to focus elsewhere. Like on imagining what it will be like to really enjoy the social event, on how it will feel to be full of energy, or to be having a great conversation with someone.

3 Mantras to Help You Regain Self-Confidence

 

Mantras are a concept that many people are aware and generally understand. They generally consist of a phrase, set of words or sounds that you repeat in order to guide your life and essentially re-wire your mind in a different direction or thought pattern. We all have mantras that we repeat regularly whether we know it or not.
In the last few of months, I got really tired of the mantras that had been running through my head. They hadn’t been intentionally cultivated and they were starting to really drag me down. I was being consumed by thoughts that trapped me in my insecurities and slowly wore down my confidence. Negative thoughts had consumed me and it was time for a change. Mantras helped me make that change. I have adopted these three mantras over the past two months that really helped me to get back on track to where I wanted my head space to be. These are my mantras. I hope they help you with your self-confidence as much as they’ve helped me:

“My time is too valuable to waste it worrying about the things I have no control over.”

This mantra came about because, obviously, because I was having obsessive thoughts about things I had no control over. Worrying about these things wasn’t going to change the outcome. All it was doing was robbing me of my sanity and peace of mind in the moment. As soon as I decided that my time was valuable and needed to be respected and used in a more productive way, my thoughts changed and this mantra came into my mind.
Every time I started stressing out, worrying and thinking about scenarios that I had no control over, I would repeat this mantra and almost instantly my peace of mind would start to creep back in and I was able to once again enjoy being alive.

“The outer is always a reflection of the inner.”

This is a great Buddhist philosophy and the more I welcome it into my life, the more apparent its truth becomes to me. Whatever is going on around you, whatever you are feeling, whichever situations are angering you or pleasing you, is a reflection of what is going on inside of you. It is not a reflection of the innate state or meaning of that situation. It is a reflection of you. If you are feeling neglected by a friend or a lover, you are probably neglecting yourself. If you are feeling loved by life and the things in your life, you are probably being loving yourself.
Nothing has a particular meaning to you until you decide it does. You could be lacking money and choose to feel sorry for yourself or choose to be grateful for the fact that you are alive and have abundance in other forms. It is not situations that dictate how you feel. It is YOU who dictates how you feel. Every time a situation in my life starts to feel crappy to me, every time I start arguing with someone or feeling rejected by something, I try to remember this and instead of reacting to the situation, I try to explore what it is inside of me that is causing the bad feelings.
After I have done this, I can usually come to a place where I can respond in a way that is productive instead of creating more conflict in my life. It is an incredibly beautiful and empowering thing.

“I take nothing personally.”

I would bet that you, like most of us, take a lot of what other people do to you personally. I found that a lot of my peace of mind and confidence was being robbed by the fact that I thought other people’s feelings towards me were a reflection of my own inadequacies. But then something occurred to me: No one on this earth can see further than their own mind. Everything anyone else is doing or feeling in relation to you, whether that means someone is offended by you, rude to you or loving to you, is a reflection of how they are feeling on the inside, but they are not saying something about you.
No matter how perfect you are or how great of a person you are choosing to be, someone is always going to have something crappy to say about you. Now does that mean that you should fully disregard the opinions of every other person on this planet? No. But it does mean that you can understand that most things in life are just that- opinions. They are not right or wrong. They are just a reflection of where someone is at in their life and that doesn’t have to define you in any way. You define you. No one else.

 

Four Myths About Building Self-Confidence

People who have self-confidence believe in themselves and feel that they are capable of achieving what they want in life, or dealing with any situation that they may have to face. They have an aura of self-confidence and self-assurance, which is apparent to others. People like to spend time with them; they feel comfortable and secure in their presence.

In contrast, there are many people who are reasonably talented, but who lack self-confidence. These people are victims of the several myths that surround self-confidence.

1. One of the foremost myths about self-confidence is that people are born with self-confidence. It is a quality that cannot be acquired. Nothing can be farther from truth. Self-confidence, like other skills, can be built. All that you need is right guidance and a belief in yourself.

2. There are others who blame their low self-confidence to their lack of good looks and poor upbringing. They don't realize that self-confidence has nothing to do with their looks. It is a reflection of one's confidence. The only way they can overcome this myth is by learning to believe in themselves. In fact, talent and self-confidence are not inter-related.

There are scores of talented actors and actresses who do very well in their professions but whose personal lives are torn by lack of self-confidence. It may sound contradictory, but this is how life is.
Talent can be an important component of self-confidence, but it is certainly not a substitute for self-confidence. So, don't worry about lack of talent. Harness the skills that you possess.

3. Another myth is that self-confidence is directly proportional to the recognition and praise that an individual gets in his or her life; the ones who are not so lucky wallow in self-pity. Once again, there is little doubt that recognition and praise make you feel good about yourself, and boost your self-confidence.
But you can't simply depend on the praise lavished by others. You have to work hard to earn that praise, and you can do this only if you are self-confident. The same applies to those who are not successful. They, too, can earn praise if they work hard and win people's respect.
Such people should look at children. Children believe in themselves, and this gives them the self-confidence to try to do things they have never done before, be it learning how to cycle or how to swim.
In fact, no child comes into the world knowing all the skills. But it does not take long to teach children most of the basic skills. Then, why should it be difficult for adults to learn new skills or brave new challenges?

4. Another myth is that only self-confident people can afford to take risks. This again is not true. In fact, self-confident people are more realistic about their capabilities. They know what they can do, and what they can't do. More importantly, they know how to deal with failures.

In contrast, people who lack self-confidence are afraid of failure. This fear prevents them from taking on new tasks. They constantly pine for the approval of others, and when they don't get it they end up losing their self-confidence.

What is apparent is the lack of understanding. People must realize that self-confidence is a state of mind. It is not dependent upon a person's beauty or looks. It flows from a person's self-belief, and this belief can be built.

All that a person needs to do is to debunk myths that self- confidence cannot be acquired or that self-confidence is a byproduct of exceptional knowledge, skills and luck. Once they do so, they will find it easier to acquire the same magnetic powers that self-confident people have.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/663508

What is the difference between Self Confidence and Self Esteem.

What is Self Confidence?

To be self confident you need failth in your own abilities  Eg It could Self Confidence in driving.
 
To means to rely on yourself and relax and even enjoy being in challenging situation.

It usually involves a low level of anxiety and a sense of  mastery, control or freedom.

Self Confident people also care less about what others think about you as you trust your own version of events and trusts your own reasons for action.

In this situation, you  spend less time and energy worry  and  avoid second guessing yourself about avoiding difficult situation

Self esteem is more about what you think of yourself as a person. Wither you view yourself to be worthwhile, Honest, Capable etc or not.


 

10 tools to ignite your Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm is absolutely necessary if you ever want to accomplish anything of value. You need a larger-than-life excitement in whatever it is that you are doing for it to be successful. You can amass incredible enthusiasm within your life, you simply have to follow through with the 10 methods I am about to discuss just below:

Be passionate
You have to have a passion for what you are doing if you want to build enthusiasm for it. You need to be excited about it as you wake up in the morning and as you go to bed at night. This passion is what will keep your enthusiasm high, even during rough patches, which we all go through. Simply put, love what you do and enthusiasm will follow. You might want to read this great article I wrote 7 Questions To Finding Your True Passion, as it can help you get the ball rolling as to figuring out what your ultimate passion really is!

Be grateful
One of the ways that I build my enthusiasm with my work and my business is that I always remind myself everything that it has given me. I express gratitude for all that I have and this helps me become even more excited about what I’m doing. As we go through the daily grind, it is very easy to forget about all the little things that make our life easier and comfortable. Remember all the good things that you have going on in your life and be grateful for being who you are today. This is a wonderful method to create powerful enthusiasm in your life.

Be positive
Enthusiasm cannot survive in a negative environment. If you always have negative thoughts and are always looking at the glass as half empty, you will find your enthusiasm dissipate very quickly. You need to be positive for your enthusiasm to thrive. Look at the silver lining. Look on the bright side of things. Take away positive lessons out of seemingly bad situations, and you will find yourself submerged by a wave of amazing enthusiasm that will help carry you along the way towards your goals.

Be proud
Whatever it is that you want to build enthusiasm for, make sure that you are proud of it. Talk about it with your peers, discuss it with your friends, and mention it to your family. Pride is very important to create lasting enthusiasm, as anything that is worth being proud of, is worth having enthusiasm for. Talking about anything that you are proud of builds a terrific excitement that only helps in the continuation of it in a positive direction.

Be creative
You can never have enough creativity. Enthusiasm generates creativity and creativity triggers enthusiasm. Be innovative and creative in whatever you are doing and watch your enthusiasm skyrocket. Always look for better and newer ways to go about it, always look for an easier path, and always think outside the box. Being creative is one of the fastest and most effective ways to create enthusiasm.

Be proactive
When you are the initiator, the one that makes things happen, you transform your dedication to enthusiasm seamlessly. Being proactive creates massive enthusiasm in that you promote something that you have a vested interest in, perhaps something that you are passionate about. I’ve discussed above how passion helps with enthusiasm. This follows along the same line. Be the captain of the ship. Be the leader, be the inspiration, and you will notice your enthusiasm get higher and higher.

Be reasonable
The quickest way to destroy any momentum and your enthusiasm along the way is to be completely unreasonable. Be realistic and understanding…this will ensure that your enthusiasm sticks for the long haul. Being unreasonable leads to guaranteed disappointment and thus create an aura of negative energy. Building enthusiasm in such an environment is pretty much impossible. So be sure to stay logical & reasonable for your enthusiasm to survive.

Be patient
Following from my previous point about being unreasonable, the same applies to patience. Being impatient and expecting everything right away will only crush your enthusiasm when reality slaps you in the face. If you want to have long lasting enthusiasm, it is required of you to be very patient. The more patience you have, the more solid your enthusiasm will be. After all, what we want is enthusiasm that lasts a lifetime, so learn to have patience in your endeavors.

Be enlightened
Believe it or not, but you can build incredible enthusiasm with stillness. You can have amazing enthusiasm with full peace within your entire being, and living in the never-ending present moment. You do not need to be agitated to feel excitement. You can be completely still with calm and still enjoy unparalleled enthusiasm. I suggest you get your hands on the book The Power of Now to understand what I am referring to here. Eckhart Tolle explains this masterfully in his writings. Find your enlightenment and you will pick up enthusiasm along the way!

Be evolving
Understand that life is all about improving yourself and that you are in a constant state of evolution. Knowing that you are, each and every day, getting better and better is a wonderful way to create sheer enthusiasm. Being aware that each step, each moment has a meaning & a purpose is incredibly rewarding and builds a solid foundation on which you can stack up your enthusiasm. Always evolve, and never look back.

As you can see, each of the methods above all compliment each other. Adding each one of these to your existence and you will witness your enthusiasm, for whatever it is that you are doing, get stronger and longer lasting. With enthusiasm fully under your control, there is absolutely nothing that can stop you from being all that you ever wanted to be

A Short Story on Self Confidence and Belief

There was a business executive who was deep in  debt and could see no way out.
Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.

Suddenly an old man appeared before him. “I can see that something is troubling you,” he said.
After listening to the executive’s woes, the old man said, “I believe I can help you.”

He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, “Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time.”

Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come.
The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!

“I can erase my money worries in an instant!” he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the uncashed check in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.

With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.
Exactly one year later, he returned to the park with the uncashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.

“I’m so glad I caught him!” she cried. “I hope he hasn’t been bothering you. He’s always escaping from the rest home and telling people he’s John D. Rockefeller.”

And she led the old man away by the arm.
The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he’d been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him.
Suddenly, he realized that it wasn’t the money, real or imagined, that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.

Remember who you really are. The children of God. The kingdom of heaven is within you.

Author Unknown